Chapter 2

I am going to write in chapters to help keep me on the right track. I guess in order to explain myself better and to get to the people I am hoping to impact I need to go ahead a little and explain why we are a family overcoming adversities. My husband and I continued to date for my whole Junior High until half way through my 8th. grade year. He had been sneaking to our High School after a move and got caught so he was forced to attend a different school in our same county. Needless to say it did not take to long for that long distance relationship at the ages of 13 and 14 to come to an end. He started dating other new girls and so I felt also forced to do the same. I wish I would have taken my time to devote to myself and God but I did not have that encouragement at that time. Any way Nick and I did stay fairly close and remained friends even seeing each other from time to time. Our birthdays where a day apart so we kept in contact that way too. I tried to really get even with him by dating a boy from his new school and we dated for a good while after the end of that relationship though I realized I would never love someone the same as I had loved Nick (just the sound of his name would make my belly flop)and I tried to accept that and tried to be happy with who I could love. I dated others and he dated others and finally after 2 years we actually started talking on the phone a lot again. One day Nick came over it was on Jan. 28 1989 he had just turned 17 and I 16. I had not seen him in a while and WOW how he had grown he was much taller than I and in terrific shape he was a football player and worked out all the time. I can still remember what he had on and how he looked. I had an ex-boyfriend at the time that I could not break up with well he would not except it anyway. I had called him because it was a Sat. and I knew he might try to come over. I told him "Nick is coming over so don't come over or I will kill you." I would not kill him of course and I guess he knew that because he did come over. I was so mad. Nick and I had just embarrassed in a wonderful kiss in the doorway of my bedroom about the time the ex showed up. Well Nick went and sat on the love seat in the living room and propped one leg over the arm like he was pretty comfortable and was not going anywhere. My ex went to my room and sat on my bed likewise he was not going anywhere. After my ex and I fought a while Nick decided he would go before he got in a fight too. He did not know at the time if I set him up for this or what and he is not one to put up with such for long. I walked him out to the porch and he looked up at me and said with a smile "I'll call you". I thought he'll call me! So there is a possibility here!
Well life went on and the week started over and at the end of the day at school on Tuesday my ex came to me with a desperate and yet dreadful look on his face. He told me he had news to tell me but had to wait till after school because he knew I had a test this last period. I said "Is it my Mom?", He said "No." I said "Is it my sister?" He said "No." I said "Is it Nick?" He did not respond. I said "You have to tell me I can't wait." Reluctantly he told me Nick had been in a car accident and was in the hospital in ICU. I was frantic. I had no other news than that and I was balling and scared. I did go to take my test and told the teacher I had to go so my ex (feeling horribly sad too) left school early and went to the hospital. When I arrived everyone was sad and I still did not know what was wrong. He was in ICU so only a few could see him. The nurse said family only. Little did they know this boy was more than family he was my life and my future. One of Nick's brothers must have known how important it was for us (his family did know we dated) he told the nurse I could see him I was like family. That was so special to me and I a have not forgotten that. There he was my big strong young man laying motionless with a broken neck and unconscious not even aware that I was there. He did respond finally, but I later found out he never recalled that time. Then I had questions and how do you ask his sad crying family the things you want to know when you feel they don't even know how much you love this person. This one only the first of many, many visits to the hospital. Nick was in ICU for a month and a half and had 3 or 4 surgeries while in there he can't even remember for sure. The doctor repeatedly said Nick would not live he kept trying to prepare the family for that. I remember one surgery where everyone was scared he was not going to make it. It was a surgery to see for sure the damage on the neck and spinal cord. I remember his mom saying if Nick was going to be paralyzed he would not want to live like that and maybe he would want to be dead instead. She talked of pulling the plug so to speak. You have to know that Nick's Mom loved her children so dearly and would have only made this decision on knowing her son and the love Nick had for action. He was so active. He worked out, played football (and was very good), hunted etc. He was always doing something and was full of life. The doctors were so negative too it was a shame he did not get sent somewhere else. I had also said my 2 cents at this time too. I told his Mom at least Nick will still be Nick. He still has a mind and an opinion. I did not know how much I could say without over stepping a boundary, but it was my plea to try to keep him with me. I was definitely thinking of not only Nick but myself and still in disbelief that this could be real. I visited Nick many times while he stayed at the hospital for another 5 months undergoing more surgeries even a huge bed sore and skin graph surgery (he was all muscle before and being bed bound and not being able to eat made him loose almost 100 pounds)before being sent to Chicago's Shriner's Hospital. His family could write another book on all the things they went through while there. He did receive better treatment at Shriner's and after undergoing more surgeries and decompression Nick found out that his spinal cord was not severed as the doctor before told him. It was pinched off and after removing the bone fragment from that Nick did get some sensation back, but still no movement from the shoulders down. So he faced faced his new life bound as a quadriplegic. He met a wonderful boy at Shriner's that help to change his life. He was an inspiration and Nick will forever be grateful. He decided to try to go on and began to embrace the things he could. I was not untill Jan. 1992 that Nick accepted Jesus Christ that he really found peace and a new meaning for life. What a difference God can make. All the while Nick and I remained friends and kept in contact of course. I had moved on in some ways too. I felt I had no choice either. I still loved him, but was to immature to realize what the future could still hold for us. We just remained friends that loved each other.