Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Update again!
Well I still had some trouble with computer and it is not complete yet, but I can go online and do some stuff. I have got a facebook now under Idena Young Browning. It is going well and I like it. I am going to post this blog on there too. My husbands Mom has had a hard year so far. She broke her leg then developed MRSA in it and while in the hospital being treated for that she got a perpherated colon and had to have emergency surgery on Monday July 20th. We also had Nick's wheelchair ramp break and had to go get it fixed just so we could get to the Hospital to see her. It is never simple with us, but amazingly it always (almost)works out ok. Oh' and my other vehicle is in the shop too. We had reservations to go camping this weekend, but now we feel guilty to go and not be able to get to the hospital if needed. Not sure what to do there we had friends going to. We could loose our first nights rent, but that is not that big of a deal we just hate for our friends to be out too. We did recieve a mini horse this last week as a gift from my step-dad for our kids. She is very cute we really like her and she is way cheaper than a dog believe it or not. Her food was only $6 for a 50# bag and she only eats about 2 cups a day and maybe 1 bail of hay a month if that. She doesn't need shoes but we are going to have her nails trimmed for $40 I did hear of someone cheaper though. We also have chickens and they are very fun to watch. They are very tame because they were hand raised. When I go out to feed them they run up to me at the gate. We have also had quite a critter problem we caught 3 racoons, 1 possum, 2 cats and 1 skunk all in the past month. Well I guess that is enough on normal stuff I will try to post another chapter soon.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
I am back I hope.
I have had a horrible time with my computer. My hard drive was completely full and the people took months to fix it. Then my video graphics card went out before I could even enjoy the fixed parts. I also had to change my server to something else so it is like learning how to use my computer all over again. I hope to be writing more posts soon. Thank you for your patience and interest in my posts. I am also going to join face book because many of my friends are wanting me to.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Chapter 2
I am going to write in chapters to help keep me on the right track. I guess in order to explain myself better and to get to the people I am hoping to impact I need to go ahead a little and explain why we are a family overcoming adversities. My husband and I continued to date for my whole Junior High until half way through my 8th. grade year. He had been sneaking to our High School after a move and got caught so he was forced to attend a different school in our same county. Needless to say it did not take to long for that long distance relationship at the ages of 13 and 14 to come to an end. He started dating other new girls and so I felt also forced to do the same. I wish I would have taken my time to devote to myself and God but I did not have that encouragement at that time. Any way Nick and I did stay fairly close and remained friends even seeing each other from time to time. Our birthdays where a day apart so we kept in contact that way too. I tried to really get even with him by dating a boy from his new school and we dated for a good while after the end of that relationship though I realized I would never love someone the same as I had loved Nick (just the sound of his name would make my belly flop)and I tried to accept that and tried to be happy with who I could love. I dated others and he dated others and finally after 2 years we actually started talking on the phone a lot again. One day Nick came over it was on Jan. 28 1989 he had just turned 17 and I 16. I had not seen him in a while and WOW how he had grown he was much taller than I and in terrific shape he was a football player and worked out all the time. I can still remember what he had on and how he looked. I had an ex-boyfriend at the time that I could not break up with well he would not except it anyway. I had called him because it was a Sat. and I knew he might try to come over. I told him "Nick is coming over so don't come over or I will kill you." I would not kill him of course and I guess he knew that because he did come over. I was so mad. Nick and I had just embarrassed in a wonderful kiss in the doorway of my bedroom about the time the ex showed up. Well Nick went and sat on the love seat in the living room and propped one leg over the arm like he was pretty comfortable and was not going anywhere. My ex went to my room and sat on my bed likewise he was not going anywhere. After my ex and I fought a while Nick decided he would go before he got in a fight too. He did not know at the time if I set him up for this or what and he is not one to put up with such for long. I walked him out to the porch and he looked up at me and said with a smile "I'll call you". I thought he'll call me! So there is a possibility here!
Well life went on and the week started over and at the end of the day at school on Tuesday my ex came to me with a desperate and yet dreadful look on his face. He told me he had news to tell me but had to wait till after school because he knew I had a test this last period. I said "Is it my Mom?", He said "No." I said "Is it my sister?" He said "No." I said "Is it Nick?" He did not respond. I said "You have to tell me I can't wait." Reluctantly he told me Nick had been in a car accident and was in the hospital in ICU. I was frantic. I had no other news than that and I was balling and scared. I did go to take my test and told the teacher I had to go so my ex (feeling horribly sad too) left school early and went to the hospital. When I arrived everyone was sad and I still did not know what was wrong. He was in ICU so only a few could see him. The nurse said family only. Little did they know this boy was more than family he was my life and my future. One of Nick's brothers must have known how important it was for us (his family did know we dated) he told the nurse I could see him I was like family. That was so special to me and I a have not forgotten that. There he was my big strong young man laying motionless with a broken neck and unconscious not even aware that I was there. He did respond finally, but I later found out he never recalled that time. Then I had questions and how do you ask his sad crying family the things you want to know when you feel they don't even know how much you love this person. This one only the first of many, many visits to the hospital. Nick was in ICU for a month and a half and had 3 or 4 surgeries while in there he can't even remember for sure. The doctor repeatedly said Nick would not live he kept trying to prepare the family for that. I remember one surgery where everyone was scared he was not going to make it. It was a surgery to see for sure the damage on the neck and spinal cord. I remember his mom saying if Nick was going to be paralyzed he would not want to live like that and maybe he would want to be dead instead. She talked of pulling the plug so to speak. You have to know that Nick's Mom loved her children so dearly and would have only made this decision on knowing her son and the love Nick had for action. He was so active. He worked out, played football (and was very good), hunted etc. He was always doing something and was full of life. The doctors were so negative too it was a shame he did not get sent somewhere else. I had also said my 2 cents at this time too. I told his Mom at least Nick will still be Nick. He still has a mind and an opinion. I did not know how much I could say without over stepping a boundary, but it was my plea to try to keep him with me. I was definitely thinking of not only Nick but myself and still in disbelief that this could be real. I visited Nick many times while he stayed at the hospital for another 5 months undergoing more surgeries even a huge bed sore and skin graph surgery (he was all muscle before and being bed bound and not being able to eat made him loose almost 100 pounds)before being sent to Chicago's Shriner's Hospital. His family could write another book on all the things they went through while there. He did receive better treatment at Shriner's and after undergoing more surgeries and decompression Nick found out that his spinal cord was not severed as the doctor before told him. It was pinched off and after removing the bone fragment from that Nick did get some sensation back, but still no movement from the shoulders down. So he faced faced his new life bound as a quadriplegic. He met a wonderful boy at Shriner's that help to change his life. He was an inspiration and Nick will forever be grateful. He decided to try to go on and began to embrace the things he could. I was not untill Jan. 1992 that Nick accepted Jesus Christ that he really found peace and a new meaning for life. What a difference God can make. All the while Nick and I remained friends and kept in contact of course. I had moved on in some ways too. I felt I had no choice either. I still loved him, but was to immature to realize what the future could still hold for us. We just remained friends that loved each other.
Well life went on and the week started over and at the end of the day at school on Tuesday my ex came to me with a desperate and yet dreadful look on his face. He told me he had news to tell me but had to wait till after school because he knew I had a test this last period. I said "Is it my Mom?", He said "No." I said "Is it my sister?" He said "No." I said "Is it Nick?" He did not respond. I said "You have to tell me I can't wait." Reluctantly he told me Nick had been in a car accident and was in the hospital in ICU. I was frantic. I had no other news than that and I was balling and scared. I did go to take my test and told the teacher I had to go so my ex (feeling horribly sad too) left school early and went to the hospital. When I arrived everyone was sad and I still did not know what was wrong. He was in ICU so only a few could see him. The nurse said family only. Little did they know this boy was more than family he was my life and my future. One of Nick's brothers must have known how important it was for us (his family did know we dated) he told the nurse I could see him I was like family. That was so special to me and I a have not forgotten that. There he was my big strong young man laying motionless with a broken neck and unconscious not even aware that I was there. He did respond finally, but I later found out he never recalled that time. Then I had questions and how do you ask his sad crying family the things you want to know when you feel they don't even know how much you love this person. This one only the first of many, many visits to the hospital. Nick was in ICU for a month and a half and had 3 or 4 surgeries while in there he can't even remember for sure. The doctor repeatedly said Nick would not live he kept trying to prepare the family for that. I remember one surgery where everyone was scared he was not going to make it. It was a surgery to see for sure the damage on the neck and spinal cord. I remember his mom saying if Nick was going to be paralyzed he would not want to live like that and maybe he would want to be dead instead. She talked of pulling the plug so to speak. You have to know that Nick's Mom loved her children so dearly and would have only made this decision on knowing her son and the love Nick had for action. He was so active. He worked out, played football (and was very good), hunted etc. He was always doing something and was full of life. The doctors were so negative too it was a shame he did not get sent somewhere else. I had also said my 2 cents at this time too. I told his Mom at least Nick will still be Nick. He still has a mind and an opinion. I did not know how much I could say without over stepping a boundary, but it was my plea to try to keep him with me. I was definitely thinking of not only Nick but myself and still in disbelief that this could be real. I visited Nick many times while he stayed at the hospital for another 5 months undergoing more surgeries even a huge bed sore and skin graph surgery (he was all muscle before and being bed bound and not being able to eat made him loose almost 100 pounds)before being sent to Chicago's Shriner's Hospital. His family could write another book on all the things they went through while there. He did receive better treatment at Shriner's and after undergoing more surgeries and decompression Nick found out that his spinal cord was not severed as the doctor before told him. It was pinched off and after removing the bone fragment from that Nick did get some sensation back, but still no movement from the shoulders down. So he faced faced his new life bound as a quadriplegic. He met a wonderful boy at Shriner's that help to change his life. He was an inspiration and Nick will forever be grateful. He decided to try to go on and began to embrace the things he could. I was not untill Jan. 1992 that Nick accepted Jesus Christ that he really found peace and a new meaning for life. What a difference God can make. All the while Nick and I remained friends and kept in contact of course. I had moved on in some ways too. I felt I had no choice either. I still loved him, but was to immature to realize what the future could still hold for us. We just remained friends that loved each other.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Chapter 1
We were in Jr. High and he (Nick) my husband now of 9 years was actually dating my best friend. When they broke up like most 12 and 13 year olds do Nick had a friend of course call and ask me to go with him I said "No" for about Oh 5 minutes then said "Yes" what a change you can make in your life with just one simple word. I would never be the same and would never find another love like that for, well all my life that I know of. We used to meet at ball games and sneak out and meet at friends houses and sometimes at parties. (Please no one tell my kids HAA!) I will never forget our first kiss which was so incredible any one who knows what it is like to kiss someone that is not a good kisser compared to someone who is knows what I am talking about. Our kiss felt like a key in a lock and only that one key went with that one lock and I knew by his eyes he felt it too. After that we were together any time we could be and talked on the phone a lot we loved each other and that's just the way it was we dated non stop for almost my whole Jr. High until he had to switch schools because they found out he was in a different school district and was sneeking to our school. (Well we broke up one time when he asked another girl out then I was asked out and he did not like that so we went back together, silly kids.)When that happened it changed our lives again, but not forever. It is important for me to tell you I do not support dating at this age for my children or any child. I feel we should go back to courtship for marriage and really get to know each other as people and not be kissing and sexual until after marriage. I know it sounds old fashioned but I wish we could all practice this and include God in our lives and in our dicisions and maybe divorce rates would drop which would not only be a positive impact on our own lives but the lives of our children. We are to be equally yolked the Bible says. Non the less I am not perfect and have had many instances in my life to learn from in which I will share many. What good would it do to go through life, make mistakes and then not witness or help someone else. I thank God for my mistakes and the fact that I can learn from them and have compasion for someone else it allows us to relate to each other... it means we are humans.
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